Susan Dixon's diary
by Candela Dixon
Summary: The world as we know it is gone. A small group of survivors leadered by Rick Grimes scapes from a horrible and traumatic situation at the CDC (6x01) and stops to rest at a small town. There they find an old dirty diary with the name of Susan Dixon. We're going to know the story of Daryl's daughter and going to see the other side of Daryl,who would kill to find his little girl.
1. Preface

_Owner information._

_Name: Susan Dixon, that's my name, and thanks, I know it's awful._

_Birthday: I think it was on November 3__rd__ I can't recall it right now, with all this stuff going on… well, I… I think I just forgot it_

_Date: Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not taking count of what day it is. I'm just trying to keep those stupid things far away from my body._

_Location: I'm in a city… it's kind of __**my**__ city now… I mean… all the people who lived here is dead, I just… I think I'm taking care of this place right now._

_Blood type: A positive… I don't think it really matters._

_Most beloved thing: When I was like 6 or 5 year old my dad gave me my bow and my first couple of arrows, they were plastic but I still keep them._

_Day 1:_

_Okay, I'm not starting with that 'Dear diary' stuff. _

_I found you today, you…my diary. I was checking the bookstore… looking for some Stephen King's books and suddenly you appeared. I thought it was a stupid idea at first... you know, writing about my day with these brainless all around the place, but I assumed it would be nice to keep some of my humanity with me._

_I suppose I have to explain you what's going on and what I mean with 'brainless ', haven't I?_

_I'll try to be as soft as I can… the humanity and probably the whole planet are reaching their end. _

_I still don't know how this started… I just remember the panic, the people shouting and shooting each other on the streets… shooting people who weren't even infected. My mom didn't want to leave home. She said we could manage to survive ourselves and I believed her, she was the only thing I had in the world. I had no friends. Kids in school called me 'freak'. I always was the one alone at the corner in parties, school breaks. The one 'most likely to be a murderer' because I practiced shooting with bow and arrow. The one whose yearbooks weren't signed by anyone. _

_Mom wasn't really concerned; she just kept painting sunsets and rainbows surrounded by happy peaceful people. I was scared but feeling safe near my mom._

_I noticed how fucked we were the day dad stopped calling me back. I told her we had to leave that place and go find dad and uncle Merle, make sure they were okay. That was the first and last day mom slapped me._

'_You're not being rational, sweetie. Your dad is probably dead and he deserves it' she said. The thing that made me mad was her calm; I wanted her to feel something, to see what was going on outside our apartment: the killings, the blood, the fact that the half part of someone was eating our neighbor Steve. _

'_Mom… can't you see what's happening? We have to get out of here! If it's not for dad, do it for me, we're going to die soon' my eyes were full of tears. I wasn't sad, I just felt tired of everything._

_But of course, she didn't listen to me, just observed a photo album and said 'Remember that time we went to the great canon?'_

_Every day I looked at the streets from my window, stared for hours at my dead neighbors and a couple of relatives. They walked like they were lost looking very pale, like they were really sick and had some parts missing. Donna, the woman who lived right across the street had no right arm and she didn't seem to notice._

_In the nights, I heard grunts and screams, I couldn't sleep, but mom didn't worry about anything; she slept all night long and I gazed her, wondering how to make her understand what we were going through. _

_Okay, Diary, I feel sleepy._

_If I wake up alive tomorrow I will continue the story._

_Love._

_Susan Jeanette Dixon._

Rick Grimes stared at that little dirty book for a while.

Was that possible? Could that girl be Daryl's daughter?

Wondering what to do, Shane touched his shoulder.

'Man, we better get moving, the sun will go down in at least half an hour' he looked at the diary in his best friend's hands, but didn't ask '…come on'

Rick inspected the little village for a second, wondering where could that teenager be.

'Okay, people… let's go' Rick looked around 'Daryl?'

A tall man with a crossbow turned around.

He was handsome, with strong long arms covered with mud and dirt.

'What?'

Rick hesitated, but gave the little plastic arrow he found near the diary to Daryl.

'Do you recognize this?'

And for the first time, Rick saw fear in Daryl's eyes.


	2. Tales

Daryl was sitting on his motorcycle, staring at the arrow in his hands, he approached it to his face, very slowly, like it was a piece of the most fragile and expensive diamond.

He smelled it, hoping it still had Susan's smell.

Suddenly, a million of memories came to him.

When he taught Susan how to ride a bike, Susan opening her Christmas present, the last time Susan talked to him.

_'Dad?'_

_-Su? Are you all right?_

_-Dad, please tell me what is going on_

_-I don't even know_

_-I've seen my best friend eating a person yesterday… they are dangerous, aren't they?_

_- They are really dangerous, promise me you will stay away from them, doesn't matter if one is your best friend, doesn't matter if it is your mother._

_-I promise… Dad… I love you_

_- Me too, sweetie._

Daryl closed his eyes very strongly; he didn't want anyone to notice the tears being born in his eyes.

Anyway, he kept reading.

_Day 2:_

_Dear diary:_

_Sorry, I forgot the non-dear diary policy._

_Dear you:_

_So, it seems I woke up alive._

_Things are actually pretty bored in here._

_I mean, it's the zombie apocalypse which 17 year old teenager wouldn't love it?_

_I feel so lonely, I wonder if what I did to mom was necessary._

_I mean, I would have died, but at least I'd have someone to chat with._

_Don't pay attention to me, I'm being stupid._

_Anyway, I miss dad, so much._

_I miss him hugging me, telling me my arms are way too short to use a crossbow, everything._

_I sometimes wonder where I would be if mom and dad were married._

_I've heard thousands of versions of the breaking up, but it is still a mystery to me._

_'I saw it all in a minute, I was in the kitchen, he hugged me from my back and whispered to my ear he loved spending time with me, but he didn't want to be anything but friends'_

_'She told me I love you, here is my loving, but we can't be together, we're not teenager anymore'_

_Yeah, a bunch of tales about rush, passion, a lot of wine and then me._

_But that marriage wouldn't have worked, they were, are and will be too different._

_Who I act like?_

_I don't know. I'm this weird combination of them both._

_I have dad's courage and survival instinct, but I am emotional and silly as mom._

_I've heard she had a lot of boyfriends in high school; in that sense, I'm more like Daryl._

_I mean, man! It's the apocalypse and I have never kissed or had sex with anyone._

_I haven't even tasted a drop of alcohol._

_I have to be the geekiest survivor ever._

_And now I'm talking to a book, great!_

_Do you know what? I'm done with this for today._

_Bye._

_Su_

Daryl felt like a fool.

There was so much about his daughter he didn't know.

Frustrated, took his crossbow.

''Rick, I'm going to look for her again''

He took the little arrow with him and left the diary on the table in the RV.

''Dale? Dale!'' a couple of minutes later, Carl Grimes entered the vehicle.

''What? Is everything okay?'' an old man with a dirty old hat came running from the other side of the trailer.

''Have you seen mom?'' the kid asked.

''She's with Carol… what's wrong?''

Carl sighed with relief.

'Oh, nothing's wrong. I just do not like not seeing her around'

Dale smiled; he patted Carl's back and left the RV.

And suddenly, Carl ran into a book that, somehow, seemed to be calling him.


	3. Noah

_Day 5:_  
_Dear you:_  
_Sorry for not writing these couple of days; something 'colorful' happened._  
_Two days ago, I woke up and did the exact same old stuff: took a bath at the river, ate some squirrel, took my bow and my quiver and entered the woods; I shot some birds and fluffy animals , filled my canteen and headed the way back home; When suddenly, I heard a scream and the distinct sound of someone running and being beaten by a tree._  
_'Okay…' I whispered._  
_'Oh god! Oh god! Oh god!' The boy sounded really desperate._  
_'He'll manage to get up on his own' I thought, as getting back to the path._  
_But then, I heard another noise: the noise of someone else walking, someone slower and grumpier than a normal person._  
_'Well, fuck' I took my bow and an arrow, and tried to reach the boy._  
_After a couple of seconds of keeping running despite I felt like I was going to threw up my heart, I saw a brainless, a girl, tumbling to achieve a blond teenager with a broken leg and a really bad looking gash on his neck._  
_'Hey!' I whistled, trying to get the zombie's attention 'you, dumbass! Here! Fresh meat!'_  
_The girl turned around and looked me with those hungry red dead eyes. A growl came up from her throat, filling the air with the smell of blood and rotten flesh._  
_'That's right, come here!' I reached my knife and cut myself on the palm of my hand. The smell of living blood made her faster 'do you like it?'_  
_I won't lie; I enjoy killing creatures who probably took a dozen of lives. I try to picture it this way: she could have killed dad or uncle Merle. So I calm down, and remember dad's hugs and Merle's comments about the black people around. Time slows down, and I can picture where the arrow must be embedded._  
_The moment her disgusting hand was going to touch me, she already had the arrow inserted in her useless brain._  
_I screamed 'Booyah!' and started to dance round the corpse like a 5 year old psycho._  
_After stepping the woman's head and pulling the arrow to get it out of her skull, I realized the boy was still on the floor, weeping like a child._  
_'Sorry… how are you?' he was curled, with his head between his kneels, in fetal position._  
_'Hey… she's already death… nothing will happen to you, I promise…'_  
_He sat, and when I got to see his face, I felt stupid._  
_'Oh, man…' I whispered 'I'm an idiot…'_  
_I started to clean the blood from my arrow with my shirt, when he finally talked: 'sorry? I don't know you ma'am' _  
_I started to walk; I wanted to leave that place so much._  
_'But, wait! We don't know each other!' _  
_'You don't remember, don't you?' I said without stopping walking._  
_'Uh… would it be too bad if I said no?' I turned around and got close to him._  
_'Shut up, Noah' _  
_He seemed confused._  
_'How do you know my name?'_  
_'I'm Susan… Susan Dixon… from high school?'_  
_His expression of genuine stupidity almost made me laugh._  
_'Flat as an arrow? Legolas?' _  
_'Oh…' he nodded._  
_'I'm glad we met… bye' I went back to the path, almost running._  
_'Susan! Come back! Help me!'_  
_'Why would I help you?' I came back to his side 'High school was dreamy for you, but for me it was a nightmare. You were the baseball team captain; you always had a girlfriend, or a bunch of friends who would laugh of your jokes about me or any other different child; you were the prom king, you were stupid, but always managed to have an A- in every subject. Meanwhile, I was hiding from everybody, you scared me, you made me want to kill myself a lot of times, nobody invited me to the prom, and the books were my only friends. If you didn't help me before, why should I help you now? You know what?' I took my arrow and I pointed to his head 'I should make you feel like you made me feel: dead'_  
_My eyes were full of tears: rage tears; I cried all the time, especially when I was angry or upset._  
_He started to cry again._  
_'I am Sorry, okay?' His nose started to bleed and he was really pale 'I was stupid, I just wanted to be accepted and cool, and the only way was bullying people like you' he sighed 'Sometimes, when I was trying to sleep I thought of you… I wondered if you were okay, if you were a bad person, If you even had friends… I'm very sorry for what I did, I was such an asshole…' He got up and raised his hands as a gesture of surrender 'Do it… I deserve it' he closed his eyes very strongly and I heard him praying._  
_I put my bow down and threw him my shoulder bag._  
_'Follow me, and carry that, my neck hurts' I heard him celebrating 'Calm down… I can still kill you'_  
_When we got home I made him lay down on the drugstore floor that was the only building with two exits and a balcony, perfect for escaping._  
_He slept for hours and I started taking care of him, he is better now, his gash is already a scar, but I have no idea of what I'm going to do with his leg._  
_I have to go diary, he is having nightmares again._  
_Sue._

Carl closed the book, feeling sad.  
He started looking for his dad.  
'Rick! Dad!' he screamed, and in a few seconds, half of the people surrounded him, asking if he was hurt or bitten.  
'No… no… Carol, I'm okay'  
When he finally saw his dad, talking with Shane he ran to reach him.  
'Carl? Buddy, what's wrong?' Shane asked.  
'Son, what happened?' Rick put a hand on Carl's shoulder.  
'Are you going to look for Susan?' the kid asked.  
Rick nodded, seeming really confused.  
'I want to find her too'


	4. Wheelchair boy

Shane was getting tired of all that 'Daryl's daughter shit'.

They had been on that stupid useless town for a week, looking for some girl who was probably dead.

He wanted to leave in that moment, not sooner or later.

He took that ugly stupid book everyone was so excited about.

There were no clues of their location, they just disappeared.

He entered the drugstore, hoping to find someone there.

Touching and wondering what that medication was for, he found a sheet of paper, hiding under a package of bandages.

Really nervous, he read it and crumpled it fast. He didn't want anyone to find out about that.

He didn't need two more mouths to feed.

Maybe Susan was better on her own.

_Day 7:_

_Dear you:_

_We saw them for the first time yesterday. Two girls, a blonde and her sister who appeared to be older._

_Noah was sitting on the balcony, monitoring the area._

_Myself, I was on the grocery store, looking for something else to eat but squirrel._

_'Susan! Susan!' Noah screamed 'We have something here!'_

_Slowly, I went outside, ready to shoot, when I found two horses at the distance._

_'Get inside the drugstore, Noah. Now ' _

_The sound of his crawling and the horses' gallop made me nervous._

_After a while, I spotted two persons riding them, two women._

_They reached me. _

_They didn't seem to be dangerous but I didn't stop pointing at them._

_'What do you want?' I said._

_'Maggie!' the younger one was scared and took the other one's hand._

_None of them was carrying weapons, so I put my bow down._

_'What do you want?!' I repeated._

_The one with the brown hair dismounted, trying not to scare me or the horse._

_'Hi, my name is Maggie.' she said 'and this is Beth…' she pointed to the blonde 'We live in a farm near here, we just need some medicine and bandages'_

_'Do you have someone bitten or hurt in your home?'_

_'Bitten? Of course not… '_

_'Then why do you need this stuff?'_

_'Dad is a kind of doctor… and he needs it'_

_An idea came to my mind._

_'Okay, we'll make a deal.'_

_She nodded._

_'My friend, he has a broken leg or something. You'll help him and go with everything you need'_

_'Deal'_

_She helped the little one to get off the horse and joined me inside the drugstore._

_Noah looked at the girls with fear and curiosity._

_'Noah, they are Maggie and Beth, they will help you with your leg…'_

_After several minutes of words I didn't understand and leg petting, Maggie started to speak:_

_'It's a sprain. It will hurt for a couple of weeks and I don't recommend much movement, maybe we can find a wheelchair or something around here, that way he'll be okay much faster'_

_'Wheelchair boy sounds great' I said._

_They took what they needed and found a wheelchair in the drugstore's deposit, told me where they lived if we needed any help, got back in the horses and left the town quickly._

_'Great girls, huh?' he smiled._

_'Yeah, you couldn't stop staring and the blonde… you tiger' I whispered._

_We laughed for a few minutes then I took him in my arms and put him in the chair._

_'How do I look?' he asked, while pulling the wheels, trying to advance._

_'Like a transformer…' I took my shoulder-bag and my bow 'I'm going to the library, want something to read?'_

_He denied, too busy with his new toy._

_Actually, Noah is a great guy. In this short period of time, I've realized he is a good person. We've got a lot of things in common, but if a great group of brainless appears, it'll be hard to escape with the wheelchair boy. He doesn't know how to handle any weapons, and I don't have nothing but my bow and my quiver. It's not like I don't have any hopes for him. He's fine, but he's useless, the only thing he can do for me is entertain me. Unless his leg gets better as Maggie said, I will have to leave him if there is a dangerous situation._

_He told me his story._

_When it all started, his dad was one of the first to be bitten; he was a cop trying to control what it seemed like a 'triple homicide'. His mom didn't know much about what was going on, so she tried to help her husband, with bad results, if you know what I mean. He was on his own with his older sister, they escaped to the wood as soon as possible, feeling everything was going to be easy and cool, like in Rambo or The Hunger Games. After a few weeks, they were starving and getting thinner and thinner. His sister ate some poisoned fruit and died a couple of days before I ran into him. He felt weak and alone, lost, he started to walk without a direction, hurting himself with the branches on the way. Then the brainless attacked him._

_It's a lovely story, isn't it?_

_The thing is he wants to know my story too. But I refuse to talk about my mom._

_I mean, what he would think about me when he knew what I did to her._

_He would be scared of me and I don't want to ruin our 'friendship'._

_Enough gossip for today, you._

_Love._

_Sue._

They all came back to the road by feet.

Their cars were there, stuck between a hundred of other trucks.

Carol saw Daryl's pale face.

He might not cry, but his expression said everything he was feeling.

Carl and Sophia were holding hands, but Carl was depressed too. He felt like he had lost one of his closer friends.

'At least we could have stayed one more day…'

'Sorry Carl?' Lori palmed his back.

'We could have stayed here the same time she did…' his mom was confused '…The last time Susan wrote on her diary was day 8… and we only stayed a week'

Lori thought that was so adorable.

Shane petted his head.

'I'm sure she's okay, buddy' Shane said.

And they went back to the road, stepping on the mud and old leaves making a sound almost as strong as the one of the broken paper on Shane's pocket.

Of course, Shane didn't know he'll pay for the things he had done.

The entire group was going to pay for it.


	5. Newcomers

Author's note: Hey guys!sorry for not updating in such a long time, I had a little problem with my internet connection, anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter

Carol felt empty.

Her Little girl was missing and it was her fault.

She wasn't near her.

'I couldn't do anything' she thought as covering her eyes with her hands.

Daryl stared at her.

That was it, people's kids couldn't be missing like that. He got to go find Susa… sorry, Sophia.

Andrea patted Carol's back, don't knowing what to say.

She sighed.

Dale looked her.

'what's wrong?' the old man asked.

'Are you fucking serious , Dale?' Andrea brushed his hair with his hands, looking nervous 'We didn't find Susan, and now Sophia is also missing and Carl's been shot!'

'What about going to sleep? huh?' Daryl asked 'some rest will do the trick Carol, I'm sure we will find her tomorrow, then we'll go meet Rick, Lori, Glenn, T-dog and Shane at that Cowboy girl's house and see how is Carl doing '

Carol nodded.

'That sounds just fine' she tried to smile but failed drastically.

After a few minutes, they were already inside the motorhome.

Apparently, Daryl was the only one trying to get some sleep: Carol was weeping like a child, making an awful sound; and Andrea was trying to load a weapon but the bullets wouldn't stop falling from her hands.

Feeling really frustrated, Daryl took his crossbow and told Carol he was going to look for Sophia.

Andrea joined him, despite Daryl's desires to be by his own.

When they entered the woods, after a while, Andrea started to talk.

'Daryl?' she whispered.

'Huh?'

'May I ask you a question?'

'Go ahead'

'Susan…' Andrea started.

He closed his eyes very strongly, trying not to cry and after a couple of seconds, he nodded, inviting her to go on.

'How was she?'

Daryl smiled.

'She was the most wonderful child in the world. Well, she was not a child… she used to get really upset when I called her like that. She loved to read. She loved her mom and … yes, I think she loved me…'

Andrea smiled as well and then moved her head to the left.

'C'mon let's keep looking for them…'

'Them?' a little hope was being born on Daryl's eyes.

'Yeah…'

Glenn and T-dog finally reached that farm.

A girl was staring right at them from the porch.

As they got nearer to the house, they noticed she was a young girl, maybe a teenager, with a long caramel hair that reached her waist; her tanned skin was a little bit lighter than her hair. She had a rounded face, her eyes were green and she had red cheeks because of being exposed all day long to the sunlight.

'Did you close the door?' she shouted, her voice was low, but it was still very charming.

'Yeah we did…'

'Are you Rick's friends?' at this point, Glenn and Theodore were already by her side.

'Yes… I'm Glenn and this dude is T-dog…'

'Hey'

'Hello' the girl said.

'we were wondering if your people could treat his wound' Glenn pointed at it. 'Oh… of course! Come on in, make yourself at home… my name is Susan…'

Glenn opened his eyes a lot and he was just about to ask her the obvious question, when T-dog punched his back softly.

'Come on, man, let's get in the house'

The night went on easily, T-dog was feeling really nice, his wound didn't hurt anymore.

In the morning, the rest of the group arrived to the farm.

'Morning!'

Noah opened his eyes when he heard Susan's voice.

'Hmmm' Noah complained, expressing his desire to sleep a little bit more.

Susan was fighting with a boot that wouldn't let her foot in, when they heard a sound coming from the outside.

Noah got up and looked through the window.

'Newcomers?' his voice sounded really awful.

'Yeah, those guys… the ones with the kid being shoot and the black one with the big gash'

Noah nodded after yawning for a while.

'C'mon, get dressed, and then we will join them and introduce ourselves. They may be some cute girls there' her feet were finally in place, so she proceeded to brush her hair.

'Don't be silly…' Noah hugged her from her back and kissed her in the neck 'you're the only one'

'That was nice, but please, get ready… you lazy ass!'

Susan took her quiver and then heard Maggie's voice 'They are here!'

Noah saw Susan's expression so, he took his shirt and his shorts.

'Ready…'

The new ones were leaving their vehicles.

Maggie looked at Glenn. That boy was cute and seemed to be the most normal of them all. Herschell observed that entire people… he hoped they didn't think they would stay for a long time… Beth hoped Susan and Noah would join them soon, that people looked dangerous.

Daryl was getting off his motocycle, with the crossbow on his back, waiting for any sign of an unsafe situation.

Susan dragged Noah through the door, she was anxious and she didn't even know why.

Daryl looked at that girl, he couldn't see her face, just her hair.

It reminded so much of Susan's… and that… quiver?! Was that a quiver?

Daryl's heart almost stopped, he got a few feet closer, tense and excited.

Then he saw her face, her beautiful face, and her freckles. She was his little girl.

He stood still in place, wondering if he was dreaming.

Andrea noticed how shocked Daryl looked.

'Daryl? Is everything okay?' she asked.

'Susan…' he whispered, without taking his eyes out of his daughter.

Andrea looked at the teenager, she looked just like him and suddenly she felt happier than ever.

'Susan!' Andrea screamed, moving her arms as she was crazy.

Susan's eyes were full of tears after a second. She recognized him in an instant, the crossbow, the hair, his eyes, the way his clothes looked.

'Dad' she whispered and started running.

The hug seemed to be eternal.

'Finally…' Andrea thought.


	6. Author's message

_Hey guys, the author's back and she is REALLY frustrated. Internet has been a lil' fucker and I haven't been able to upload more chapters since...I don't know...April? The thing is the problem with my internet is solved for good and I'm thinking of continuing with this sort of fanfiction i was working in. What do you think? Should I go on? Would you like that? Please! Tell me!_

_Love always_

_Candela 'swaggylicious' Soto_


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